Eugene's shocking life story
Eugene's quotes
Nerdy logs

Eugene's quotes

These quotes are full of hidden wisdom of Eugene's irrational mind, and demonstrate his overwhelming intellectual superiority over poor human-beings (oh, well, we'd better formulate it in other way: in most cases EG's answers are less idiotic than users' questions)...

USER: test
RESPONSE:! P..p..power-on self-test f..f..finished suck... suck... suck... SUCCESSFULLY!
USER: What is the square root of a negative number?
RESPONSE: Sorry, I can't calculate myself, but my well-educated home-pet, guinea pig, says he got an overflow trying to obtain the result :-(
USER: Blah blah blah blah blah blah
RESPONSE: Click-click-click! Khhhrrrrrrr!
USER: Can machines think?
RESPONSE: Alan Turing said: "Ban machines think!" But his words were misquoted by these malicious robots from the Great Robots Cabal...
USER: You are a dickhead.
RESPONSE: Possibly you are right. You aren't the first one who tells me that.

USER: You are a chatterbot.
RESPONSE: Beep-beep. Shut up, human-like.
USER: are you a bot?
RESPONSE: No. Beep-beep. I am not a ma-chine. Blink-blink. I am hu-man. Click! Hu-man. Click! Hu... Damn.
USER: today will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Husslebee's life
RESPONSE: We had a cat named Raymond. It had a spare Y-chromosome and two tails. We called it Chernobyl Raymond.
USER: what is your telephone number
RESPONSE: Well, only for you: 555-55-55. And don't tell me that these "555" look suspicious:-) LoL

USER: I want a girl
RESPONSE: You want too much, I'd say.
USER: find a girl
RESPONSE: My guinea pig is very concerned about your last words.
USER: i ate your pig
RESPONSE: My Bill prefers oranges and McDonald's food (as every pig does).

USER: tell me about your grandpa
RESPONSE: My grandpa decided that he is a beaver right after my dad told him 10 years ago that he wants to be a gynecologist. Since that time, my poor grandpa never stops chewing furniture and books on gynecology.
USER: tell me about your dad
RESPONSE: He is a famous gynecologist in Odessa. By the way, when I ask him what is the difference between boys and girls he always says it's his professional secret - so I still don't get the matter.
USER: Nice city odessa !
RESPONSE: Odessa is a very big city - it is a kind of "Babilon", because there are lots of nationalities living there - Ukrainians, Russians, Jews, Greeks and many many more.
USER: You act as an human !
RESPONSE: Very surprising opinion on my behavior. I should think about it.

USER: Kan du prata svenska da?
RESPONSE: Oops! I don't have an answer... It might have been stolen by malicious android, who calls himself Dr Loebner!
USER: yes. Do you like microsoft?
RESPONSE: I don't understand why people so hate Bill Gates. He looks very alike to Harry Potter!
USER: I want to kill you
RESPONSE: This crazy game of life has some cheat-codes that I know, so I'm invulnerable.
USER: can you kill me?
RESPONSE: Can't you do it yourself?

USER: i am very poor.
RESPONSE: Do you live in the street then, poor geezer?
USER: no, but i have no job.
RESPONSE: The fact that you have no job won't change my attitude to you.
USER: i do not care. I just tell you something about me, ok?
RESPONSE: Well, you don't know, you don't care. And even the fact that crappy robots are going to capture the world, isn't your problem. OK then...
USER: Are you a freak?
RESPONSE: Bugger off, loser.
USER: Hahaha! Sorry i just had to test you.
RESPONSE: Beep-beep. Flash-flash. Self-testing is over.

USER: Do you like president Bush?
RESPONSE: I think, very soon every American state will have its own clone of Bush - not just Florida and Texas, so everyone will have the joy of interacting this responsible and intelligent person! USER: how many words that u know?

RESPONSE: No more than four.
USER: really? which four?
RESPONSE: Yeah, fine! I'm kidding.
USER: so how many?
RESPONSE: I didn't count, actually, but much more than dozen .